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Sexy Smartness
12.02.02
 

Question

Email #1

Dear Mr. Studlyhunk,

As a regular guy attempting to perfect my physique as well as my mind, I would like to know HOW DO YOU DO IT???  I mean, seriously, you have abs of steel, and yet you appear to have a vocabulary superior to the British scholars of the Rennaissance!  Now, obviously, that is a combination rarely, if ever, achieved.  I've met many attractively proportioned guys, and many extremely intellectual guys, but I don't think I've ever come across one guy who is both in one.  Girls, yeah, that combo is a dime a dozen, but for us guys, it's like we have to choose, and yet you chose both!  What gives?  What's your secret?  You'll be helping a vast number of smart men, like myself, as well as a large number of "hotties," as I would like to look, and we can finally feel equal to women!

Email #2

I'm sorry, I forgot to leave my name in that email.  I was simply so overwhelmed by the prospect of your response that I sent the email (from my uncle's account - it is thanksgiving, you know, and I'm stuck here in Iowa) without signing my name, which is extremely rude, I understand, so I apologize.  My name is don.  Don.  So that's how my last message SHOULD have been signed.  I suppose I've been drinking a few too many beers tonight.  Hmm... that's probably the first thing I should cut out, right?  the beer?  to help my physique catch up to my mind?  Help me please, christmas is coming soon.

dOn

Response

Dear Don,

It is no coincidence that you would associate my vocabulary with the British scholars of the Rennaissance, for I am a direct descendant of those brilliant men! However, that doesn't mean that you have to have intelligent ancestors in order to master the English language. All you have to do is study some vocabulary, read your classic and popular literature, and make sure to always enunciate!

As far as being both intelligent and handsome, I won't lie to you. I do have to work for it. Now, I was lucky because I was born good looking and smart, but if I didn't work out regularly, I wouldn't be as amazing looking as I am now. And if I didn't keep on top of my reading, I probably wouldn't be as articulate either. So, you can't just wish for good looks and intelligence, you have to strive for excellence. If I didn't exercuse and lift weights, I would probably pass as your regular, everyday good-looking guy. However, since I do work out, I turn heads everywhere I go!

To keep your physique under control, yes, you might want to cut back on the beer a little. But never fear! You don't have to stop drinking beer entirely! There is a great new beer on the market, it is called Michelob Ultra. This beer is not only a lite beer, but it is also the first ever low carb beer!! So you can drink more of them, and they will have less of an effect on your gut! The best part about it is that the word "ULTRA" is in really big letters, but the word "lite" is in small, pale yellow letters. So all people can really read is the "ULTRA," and it looks like you're drinking a very manly beer. "ULTRA!!!" Now doesn't that sound manly?

Good luck, I have faith in you!

Mr. Studlyhunk

 

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